'A masterwork by one of the great thinkers of our time.' - Dani Shapiro

'A deliriously smart and empathetic book that makes a match between the way you love and the way you were loved: sparks ensue.' - Joshua Cohen


What keeps us from having the relationships we want?
Why can't we find the right partner?
Why do we repeat the same painful patterns?
How can we keep love alive?

The children we once were live inside us, and our early relationships are the templates for our later emotional and sexual attractions. Although they try to protect us, they are also the source of our relational struggles, awakening our fears and longings, and constructing our love life, often without our permission.

Diving deep into patients' intimate lives, as well as her own, here psychoanalyst Dr Galit Atlas exposes our most private desires, unmet needs, yearnings and pain. Through her intricate portrayal of lives as complex as our own, we uncover the frightened child, the melancholic child, the ashamed child, the invisible child and the guilty child. From our fear of loss and rejection, to our capacity for healthy boundaries, we are gifted a nuanced understanding of the link between our inner wounds and our adult love. By inviting our childhood selves to have a seat at the table, we learn to work through our past instead of playing it out in our relationships.

This therapeutic journey is an emotional, multi-dimensional understanding of intimacy, offering a transformative path to healing.