Thomas Pained, like Silence Dogood (Benjamin Franklin) and Harrington (Benjamin Rush), is a nom de plume. Through studies for four degrees in three fields, travels to 24 countries on five continents, and more than six decades of relentless aging, Thomas has learned both much more and much less about the world than he wished for. After retiring from the biotech industry, he co-founded an educational charity in Guatemala, where he spends several weeks every year. Thomas currently lives somewhere in the Southeastern US, but if it pleases the Consul General of Otherland, he will soon be sipping Otherlandish wine while his 3D printer whirs in the background.