Heloise is getting ready for retirement. After more than three centuries of witchcraft, she wants to relax and carry on a normal existence for her last hundred years, but things keep interrupting her envisioned smooth transition. Two vile high school boys kill her beloved cat and she decides to make them pay for their misdeeds. Then she is chosen to lead introductory sessions for novice witches camping in the mountains near the Pacific Crest Trail in Oregon. She must overcome difficulties in the forest and help the Timberville police track pot smugglers. She is finally able to relax to pursue a money making hobby.

Seventy-year-old Ned Berry's trip to the barber led to an unimaginable day. An egg-shaped crystal motivated activities resulting in the police arresting him and two friends.