It's summer in the little town of Somwärin, Texas, where the most anticipated event is a wrestling match between a man in a bear-suit and a bear in a man-suit. To Ruby Bejou, it looks like just another boring summer. And when Ruby's bored, she makes trouble.

But this year, things are different. Her daddy accidentally starts a cult for long-haul truckers. Her big sister is on a mission to win a cutthroat beauty pageant and won't let anything get in her way-except maybe her enormous boobs. Her little sister is out to destroy the town bully, even if it sparks an international diplomatic incident with the entire nation of Sweden.

And Ruby? She's determined to stay out of trouble. With the help of a psychic newspaper editor, a tooth witch who transforms coins into teeth, and a forbidden library guarded by the entire town, she just might cure her summer boredom for good.