Many conflicts and relationship problems arise from the fact that we
act to please or harm others, and we feel pleased or harmed by others'
actions. If we act to inform or change others at a rational level, and
assess rationally instead of emotionally the actions of others, then we
can avoid much of our minor or serious relational problems and
breakups. It's more natural to be upset by the fact that the other does
not value me positively, as I feel that from his body language, than to
be saddened that he did something wrong to me. For the latter I
should have no feelings, but rather think and do something about it!